People say the darnedest things to the police

Columnist Steve Lange says reports to law enforcement can be entertaining reading.

Oddchester - Steve Lange column sig

"Neighbor’s dog barks when people are outside."

"Caller would like the party that is living in her storage unit removed."

"14-year-old boy has foot stuck in a guinea pig cage."

I have, over the past 15 years, wasted a lot of time collecting my favorite entries from the area police blotters, a weekly roundup of law enforcement reports.

Here, then, are some of our favorites over the past decade and a half.


Monday, 5:12 p.m.: Dog stuck on top of a pool cover. Kasson.

Monday, 6:06 p.m.: 14-year-old boy has foot stuck in a guinea pig cage. Rochester.

Monday, 8:47 p.m.: Caller reported a juvenile with a lawn mower pulling a camper, driving around town. Hayfield.

Monday, 11:56 p.m.: Ding dong ditch. Mantorville.

Tuesday, 8:29 a.m.: Man reports that neighbor is snowblowing snow into caller’s driveway. Reporting party feels it is intentional. Rochester.

Tuesday, 8:41 p.m.: Caller said the neighbor is using the reporting party's water to fill their pool. Dodge Center.

Wednesday, 9:35 a.m.: Caller saw a mountain lion. Officers found stray house cat. Dodge Center.

Wednesday, 5:56 p.m.: Complainant smells gas in and around residence. Smell of natural gas (rotten eggs) determined to be coming from actual rotten eggs inside complainant’s garbage can. Pine Island.


Wednesday, 8:42 p.m.: Anonymous message: “Isn’t there a city ordinance of mowing one’s lawn after 7 p.m., especially in the Royal Court of Pine Island? Oh, yes, there is.” Deputy checked the area; no one cutting grass. Pine Island.

Thursday, 11:32 a.m.: Neighbor’s dog barks when people are outside. Hayfield.

Thursday, 3:43 p.m.: Caller said they sent money to India; now their computer is locked up. Hayfield.

Thursday, 5:42 p.m.: Caller said the pop machine is giving away free pop, thought it should be reported. Wanamingo.

Thursday, 8 p.m.: Caller would like the party that is living in her storage unit removed. Dodge Center.

Friday, 4:44 p.m.: Caller reports that unknown person hit him with snowball as he walked through (business) parking lot. Rochester.

Friday, 5:16 p.m.: Two kids have toy Nerf guns and are pretending to shoot other kids at the park. Dodge Center.

Saturday, 12:04 p.m.: People who are on a poster in the laundromat for stealing things are in there right now. Kasson.


Saturday, 4:02 p.m.: Caller said four juvenile males were playing with lighters and mouthing off. Complainant was calling from Pine Island, Florida. Pine Island.

Saturday, 5:08 p.m.: Caller reporting neighbor’s dog has been dropping waste in their yard. She says she can tell which dog it is by size and shape of waste. Kasson.

Saturday, 6:59 p.m.: Mail carrier found a live chicken in a mailbox. Neighbor is taking care of the chicken. Dodge Center.

Saturday, 10:45 p.m.: Checked on occupied vehicle; spoke with driver whose wife was sleeping in the passenger seat. She’s working at the after-prom party at the high school, which starts at midnight. They were killing time until she has to be at the school. Wanamingo.

Sunday, 11:10 a.m.: Car is stuck in the car wash. Kasson.
Steve Lange is the editor of Rochester Magazine. His column appears every Tuesday.

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