People say the darnedest things to the police
Columnist Steve Lange says reports to law enforcement can be entertaining reading.
"Neighbor’s dog barks when people are outside."
"Caller would like the party that is living in her storage unit removed."
"14-year-old boy has foot stuck in a guinea pig cage."
I have, over the past 15 years, wasted a lot of time collecting my favorite entries from the area police blotters, a weekly roundup of law enforcement reports.
Here, then, are some of our favorites over the past decade and a half.
Monday, 5:12 p.m.: Dog stuck on top of a pool cover. Kasson.
Monday, 6:06 p.m.: 14-year-old boy has foot stuck in a guinea pig cage. Rochester.
Monday, 8:47 p.m.: Caller reported a juvenile with a lawn mower pulling a camper, driving around town. Hayfield.
Monday, 11:56 p.m.: Ding dong ditch. Mantorville.
Tuesday, 8:29 a.m.: Man reports that neighbor is snowblowing snow into caller’s driveway. Reporting party feels it is intentional. Rochester.
Tuesday, 8:41 p.m.: Caller said the neighbor is using the reporting party's water to fill their pool. Dodge Center.
Wednesday, 9:35 a.m.: Caller saw a mountain lion. Officers found stray house cat. Dodge Center.
Wednesday, 5:56 p.m.: Complainant smells gas in and around residence. Smell of natural gas (rotten eggs) determined to be coming from actual rotten eggs inside complainant’s garbage can. Pine Island.
Wednesday, 8:42 p.m.: Anonymous message: “Isn’t there a city ordinance of mowing one’s lawn after 7 p.m., especially in the Royal Court of Pine Island? Oh, yes, there is.” Deputy checked the area; no one cutting grass. Pine Island.
Thursday, 11:32 a.m.: Neighbor’s dog barks when people are outside. Hayfield.
Thursday, 3:43 p.m.: Caller said they sent money to India; now their computer is locked up. Hayfield.
Thursday, 5:42 p.m.: Caller said the pop machine is giving away free pop, thought it should be reported. Wanamingo.
Thursday, 8 p.m.: Caller would like the party that is living in her storage unit removed. Dodge Center.
Friday, 4:44 p.m.: Caller reports that unknown person hit him with snowball as he walked through (business) parking lot. Rochester.
Friday, 5:16 p.m.: Two kids have toy Nerf guns and are pretending to shoot other kids at the park. Dodge Center.
Saturday, 12:04 p.m.: People who are on a poster in the laundromat for stealing things are in there right now. Kasson.
Saturday, 4:02 p.m.: Caller said four juvenile males were playing with lighters and mouthing off. Complainant was calling from Pine Island, Florida. Pine Island.
Saturday, 5:08 p.m.: Caller reporting neighbor’s dog has been dropping waste in their yard. She says she can tell which dog it is by size and shape of waste. Kasson.
Saturday, 6:59 p.m.: Mail carrier found a live chicken in a mailbox. Neighbor is taking care of the chicken. Dodge Center.
Saturday, 10:45 p.m.: Checked on occupied vehicle; spoke with driver whose wife was sleeping in the passenger seat. She’s working at the after-prom party at the high school, which starts at midnight. They were killing time until she has to be at the school. Wanamingo.
Sunday, 11:10 a.m.: Car is stuck in the car wash. Kasson.
Steve Lange is the editor of Rochester Magazine. His column appears every Tuesday.