Bianchi — Spring offers so many good things, and a few bad

There are a lot of things about spring that are great. But there is one that is not.

Oh, I’m excited about the green grass, the colorful flowers, and the chirping of the birds. But getting out those spring clothes is anything but fun, and shopping for new ones is even more depressing.

It’s amazing how those long pants and sweatshirts in winter can cover up a multitude of sins. Sleeveless tops and shorts don’t do a thing for a body’s figure. Unless, of course, it is a size 4. And mine hasn’t been that number since it was my age!

One day my husband and I both had some errands in a neighboring town. It was decided to go there together.

After we finished with the errands we still had time left to spare and so decided to shop at the mall for a little fun. Yah, right!


First stop was the men’s department.

"You know, dear," said I, "you could use a new summer shirt or two."

He agreed and I began pulling them off of the rack for his inspection.

"Here’s a really nice one,’’ I said. "The strips run up and down instead of around, just like you prefer. And just feel the material. It’s soft and not a bit scratchy."

After giving me one of those "you’ve-got-to-be kidding" looks, his description of it was that "it looks like a dishrag and feels worse."

So I replied, "I’ll meet you back at the front door in an hour!"

I proceeded to go to the ladies department — alone. In bewilderment, I wondered, "Am I getting bigger or are the sizes getting smaller? Or maybe the metric system is now being used for marking."

Every year styles seem to change and not for the better, as far as I’m concerned. Unless, as I’ve stated before, you wear a size 4. I began to browse. Perhaps, I would have time to try on a top or two. Although by now, which was all of 15 minutes since my husband and I had gone our own ways, I was sure he was already at the front door waiting for me, and without any bags. I soon decided that it was just as good that I didn’t have much time for shopping on this particular day.


After looking at a few items and reading the labels, I wasn’t sure if I was in a clothing store, a hardware store, a psychiatrist’s office, or a travel agency. There was "crinkled woven tops" and "crushed pants." Oh no," I thought, "I’ll have to get the iron out before I even wore them!" Next, I looked at the "bongo, bongo sweaters," the "Weekend-in-Paris blouses" and the "Right Direction" brand of clothing. Now I didn’t know which to choose here because I really wasn’t planning on taking a trip and even in this store, I almost lost my direction! The clothing racks were filled with tanks. Shirred lace tanks, strapless tanks, screen tanks, and one-step-up tanks. The only tank missing was a cow tank, which just might have fit me! And there was a "Self-Esteem" tank. Heaven only knows that by now I could have used a helping of self esteem! Clothing which exposes the mid-drift is really not my thing!

There is something good about not finding any clothing you really like. You go home with as much money as you had when you walked in the store. Besides, there is always another day to give it another try.

Should I not be successful then at finding something new to wear, I can always console myself with the fact that fall is a mere four months away and the baggy sweaters will be in style once again!

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