Car stuck in car wash. A live chicken in a mailbox. Dog stuck on top of a pool cover.
I have, over the past few years, wasted a lot of time collecting my favorite entries from the area police blotter, a weekly roundup of law enforcement reports as published in the Post Bulletin and other area papers.
Because, well, "complainant reported a female came to the house the night before, wanting to give his wife a free can of Glade."
Thursday, 10:23 a.m.: Complainant says upstairs neighbor is jumping around and making a lot of noise. The complainant is a daytime sleeper and has talked to the neighbor about it in the past. Wanamingo.
Saturday, 6:59 p.m.: Mail carrier found a live chicken in a mailbox. Neighbor is taking care of the chicken. Dodge Center.
Saturday, 12:04 p.m.: People who are on a poster in the laundromat for stealing things are in there right now. Kasson.
Wednesday, 12:45 p.m.: Caller said someone made a rock wall and put a dead possum on top. Appears someone was playing a prank; deputy destroyed rock wall. Zumbrota.
Wednesday, 9:35 a.m.: Caller saw a mountain lion. Dodge Center.
Wednesday, 5:08 p.m.: Caller reporting neighbor's dog has been dropping waste in their yard. She says she can tell which dog it is by size and shape of waste. Kasson.
Sunday, 11:10 a.m.: Car is stuck in the car wash. Kasson.
Tuesday, 10:11 a.m.: Neighbor's dog is coming over and eating complainant's dog's food. Deputy spoke to complainant and dog owner. She doesn't believe it's her dog; he's positive it's her dog.
Wednesday, 7:06 a.m.: Complainant said a peddler came by selling cancer insurance last night, asking a lot of strange questions, like what kind of cars they drive. Zumbrota.
Saturday, 4:02 p.m.: Caller said four juvenile males were playing with lighters and mouthing off. Complainant was calling from Pine Island, Fla. Pine Island.
Saturday, 10:45 p.m.: Checked on occupied vehicle; spoke with driver whose wife was sleeping in the passenger seat. She's working at the after-prom party at Zumbrota High School, which starts at midnight. They were killing time until she has to be at the school. Wanamingo.
Monday, 7:54 a.m.: Caller reporting a missing African gray parrot named Lilly. Very friendly. Dodge Center.
Thursday, 11:32 a.m.: Neighbor's dog barks when people are outside. Hayfield.
Wednesday, 8:42 p.m.: Anonymous message: "Isn't there a city ordinance of mowing one's lawn after 7 p.m., especially in the Royal Court of Pine Island? Oh, yes, there is." Deputy checked the area; no one cutting grass. Pine Island.
Saturday, 11:22 p.m.: Woman said she'd only left the kitchen light on when she left the house; returned to find all the lights on, things seemed to be moved around. Cleared: Complainant's mom had come home in the meantime, turned everything on and left again. Pine Island.
Thursday, 3:43 p.m.: Caller said they sent money to India; now their computer is locked up. Hayfield
Friday, 9:09 p.m.: Complaint of someone singing in the water tower. Dodge Center.
Wednesday, 5:56 p.m.: Complainant smells gas in and around residence. Smell of natural gas (rotten eggs) determined to be coming from actual rotten eggs inside complainant's garbage can. Pine Island.
Sunday, 4:45 a.m.: Reporting party was on the Internet and got a pop-up ad that told him to call a number for virus removal. He gave his credit card information, they charged $400 to it, and now the computer is locked up and won't do anything. Hayfield.
Thursday, 5:42 p.m.: Caller said the pop machine is giving away free pop, thought it should be reported. Wanamingo.
Thursday, 7:09 p.m.: Caller wants to make sure the semi parked down the road isn't a refrigerated truck that will be running all night, keeping her up. Truck not running. Pine Island.
Monday, 5:12 p.m.: Dog stuck on top of a pool cover. Kasson.
Tuesday, 3:01 p.m.: Complainant reported a female came to the house the night before, wanting to give his wife a free can of Glade. She then asked if she could come in to demonstrate something; he believes she was trying to distract her so another party could go through the garage. Pine Island