Current boyfriend is nervous to meet dad of girlfriend’s child

DEAR AMY: I have been with a great woman for almost eight months. She has a 2-year-old daughter who is wonderful. The problem is that the child’s father just met her for the first time.

My relationship with my girlfriend is very serious, and we are talking about marriage.

I am now supposed to meet the child’s father, and I am very nervous. What should I do? What should I expect?

Can you help me with this? — Worried and Wondering

DEAR WORRIED: You can be fairly certain that the other man will be as nervous as you are. At this point, he is the interloper. His behavior is likely to be more closely scrutinized than yours. After all, he is not only meeting you — he’s getting to know his daughter.


Your girlfriend can do a lot to prepare and reassure you about this meeting. But when meeting any new person under challenging circumstances, you should do your best to convey a warm greeting, ask a couple of simple questions, then retreat a bit to let the other person try to settle in.

You can also be helpful during this encounter by being a friendly and secure presence for the 2-year-old in your life. She is the most important person in this quadrangle, and her comfort will be a response to your own comfort.

Send questions via e-mail to or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.

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