Divorce blocks out grandma

DEAR ANNIE:I am hoping that you can help me solve this problem. My son recently divorced the mother of his two children. My former daughter-in-law has decided to unfriend me on Facebook and talk negatively about me to others. I would like to still be able to show my friends pictures of my grandchildren from her Facebook page. I am very sorry that their marriage did not endure. I have not treated her negatively. Do you have any suggestions that would help me reconnect with her? — Blocked Out

DEAR BLOCKED OUT:The divorce was recent, and the wounds are fresh. When she speaks negatively about you, that’s probably her pain talking. Rather than call, text or email, take a gentler, less invasive approach: Write a letter. Tell her exactly what you told me — that you’re sorry the marriage ended but you still care about her and the grandkids. Once she has had some time to heal, she may be better able to see the benefits of having you in her children’s lives.

DEAR LOVE BEING RETIRED:Beautifully said. Bravo for boundaries!

DEAR ANNIE:In response to "Just Saying," who holds the door for female customers and then stews if they queue ahead of him: When you don’t want to be passed, simply enter first but hold the door ajar behind you for the next customer to take. It’s still a nice gesture, for which women today are unlikely to fault you. — Adaptable

DEAR ADAPTABLE:This is the sort of solution I like: practical and polite. I wish I’d thought of it. Thanks for writing.

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