Do you really want a man who passes out in his car?

DEAR AMY: I’ve developed a little crush on a guy I see from time to time. He’s from the South, and I’ve misread the often charming, flirtatious nature of Southern boys as interest before.

On New Year’s Eve, he kissed me at midnight. On the lips. It was a good kiss. At a cocktail party at the end of February, he greeted me warmly and watched me dance in an intense way.

Then, just a week ago, we ran into each other at a karaoke bar. He kissed my hand twice in a very charming way, and hung out with me and my friends.

The consensus was that he was interested. So I sent him an e-mail saying that I was happy to have run into him and hoped that I wasn’t too loud and goofy.

He responded with a message saying that he slept off the booze in his car and that the bar where we met was a great dive bar.


Given his response, my inclination is to write his behavior off as drunken, Southern-boy behavior toward an attractive girl.

I realize also that he might not have seen my message as expressing interest — guys can be clueless, and it was pretty general, though if he were really interested, he might jump at the opportunity to ask me out.

My inclination is definitely to play it cool but show interest the next time I see him. Any ideas? — Jacki

DEAR JACKI: I agree that Southern men in general seem to have a fun, flirty, puppyish charm that can be disarming and a little deceptive, if you’re not used to it.

I have two questions for you.

Do you really want to be with someone who has to sleep off his good time in his car?

Do you want to be with someone whom you believe might be "clueless?"

I disagree that guys are clueless, by the way. When they’re not drunk and disorderly, they tend to know what they are doing.


If this guy expresses interest in you when he — and you — are both sober, then you’re onto something.

You’ve contacted him. He has your e-mail address. Now you should be cool.

DEAR AMY: I am responding to "Worried," who was overly concerned about his friend’s premature hair loss.

Wow, I didn’t realize that by having male pattern baldness I was secretly pitied by my friends and that they wished to pull me aside and let me know I had it and that I could probably do something before I lost more hair and my life was totally ruined.

I feel so thankful that I now can save my life from the tragedy of hair loss. — Happily Chrome Domed

DEAR CHROME: I agree that "Worried" was being obnoxiously patronizing.

It’s nice to hear that baldness is not that big a deal for you; as I pointed out to Worried, in my experience, men worry about hair loss much more than women do.

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