Experts offer advice on coping with marital challenges

November 08, 2008 at 5:00 AM

McClatchy-Tribune

Married? Here’s some advice on coping with life’s challenges from the book "How to Survive Your Marriage," straight from people who’ve done it:

"Most difficult thing in marriage: The stress of trying to have a baby. We didn’t have problems getting pregnant, but rather staying pregnant. I had an ectopic pregnancy and had to have all these surgeries and my own health was becoming an issue. There was the loss of work and wages as a result. The stress of the situation kind of took the fun out of sex. Getting so uptight about getting pregnant doesn’t help the situation at all."

— J.B.H., Alexandria, Va.

"You have to be supportive of your spouse no matter what. The two of you really are a team. If he really wants to do something—like change jobs—that at first blush you are not sure about, you still have to be supportive. Hopefully he is the same way with you. When I told my husband that I wanted to go back to school a couple years ago I was worried about what he might say. But he was behind me 100 percent and that made me feel wonderful."

— Charlene Depasquale, Pittsburgh

"The 7-year itch won’t happen if you have different interests. My husband and I are 8 years into our marriage and are doing fine because we pursue our own interests, friends and activities while still spending time with each other. I don’t have to be with him every weekend and vice versa. I make plans with girlfriends or take minivacations with them to get out of town for a night or two. It makes the time we do spend together more special."

— Staci Kessler, Highland Park, Ill.

"Be on guard with your spouse at high school and college reunions. That is a time for temptations, when many people rekindle relationships with old boyfriends and girlfriends. My husband renewed his relationship with his old college girlfriend at that time. He divorced me and eventually married her."

— Anonymous, San Antonio

"Just remember, whatever it is that you’re going through, you’ll come out stronger on the other side."

— J.W.A. III, Atlanta