I should have worked for the CIA

So, this was our funny Saturday night.

It's not often we all go to church as a family, with kids working, Ron liking his bigger church and the little kids liking the country church I go to. Ron also loves Saturday night mass.

So, Ron took Maggie to church that night, and said she was so good he took her to the grocery store and bought her candy. Of course, she came in with a few pieces and waved them around to show. The rule is if there's not enough for everybody, make sure it's gone by the time you come home. We usually don't keep a lot of candy around, so it's a big deal if there is some.

Tedd saw the candy and went crazy, running around the house saying, "Teddy needs candy!" It was kind of cute, so I went around looking for a stash somewhere ... possibly even some chocolate chips. I remembered I had a candy bar in the spice cupboard. I bought it in case somebody did something really great; if Ron needed it if he had a diabetic episode; or just to split between everybody.

The candy bar was gone.

"Who ate that candy bar in the cupboard?" I asked.

I asked Maggie and Jess.

Maggie said, "No, I saw it, and touched it to make sure the wrapper was full, but I put it back." Jessie sternly replied, "I didn't know there was no candies in the cupboard!"

I don't know about when you all had little kids or if you have some now, but did they tell lies? There's been some lying going on lately, and I'm getting pretty sick of it. I had to fight fire with fire.

"Hmm. ... Well, I heard there was a recall on it, and I don't want to get anybody sick from eating it,'' I said. "There may have been something bad in it. If you start getting a belly ache from it, let me know as soon as possible."

"Well, you were going to feed it to Tedd," Levi said cautiously.

"That was before I knew about the recall. It's on the computer."

My oldest was hiding a smirk. He, too, was once a fibber, but we broke him of it.

Before I knew it, Rachel was on the computer looking it up to make sure it was real. To our surprise, sure enough there was a recall. It didn't matter that it was about there being cornflakes in it and being sold as gluten-free.

No more was said, and we all sat down to watch a Christmas special. After that was done, I went and did a little work in the office. Another half hour went by when Rachel — whom I'm guessing saw an ad for a video game called Total Recall — came flying into the office.

"Mom, it said Total Recall on the TV, what does that mean?" she said breathlessly.

"Oh, no! It probably means all the Butterfingers are bad in the world. Shoot, that's my favorite."

She walked slowly out of the office, her head hanging.

"Mine, too," she said.

I tucked them in, and about five minutes later, in comes Rachel to the office again.

"My tummy hurts," and then she burst into tears.

"Oh, no, honey. You ate the bar didn't you?"

"Yes!"

Well, the good thing is you can cure it with a Tums. I asked her what do we do when the skunks and racoons get into the grain pile, and they are stealing it.

"We set a trap," she said.

"Exactly, so when I want to catch a liar, what would I do?"

"Set a trap," she said.

"Yep, and although I told a fib, it was to teach you a lesson. No more lying, OK?"

All is well that ends well.

P.S. I'll go to confession this next mass.

Fairchild Farm Girl.