This election year, as America finds itself in world conflict, when federal budgets should be on a low-carb diet and when the upswing economy continues to play peek-a-boo, we, as Americans, need a hero to lead us through the struggles.
I'm nominating the man that could do a super job. That's right, for our next president I have selected the all-American golden boy and apple of the comic enthusiast's eye: Superman.
Already he is held in high esteem in many people's minds. Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! Superman possesses the qualities every American wants in a commander in chief: He knows what's right, he knows when something is wrong, and he wears Spandex.
The all-American image is what this country wants, and what it needs. Superman would remove corruption from the government and campaign in an honest manner. He knows what America really needs to hear. He would tell the public what his strengths are rather than showcasing the faults of his opponent. Open, informative, non-antagonistic campaigning. I can see the slogans now: "It's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's our next president," "Vote for Superman! He's one super man!"
If elected, he would reduce the federal deficit simply because he is Superman. No longer would there be a need to spend money on Air Force One or the Secret Service -- this president would be his own transportation and defense. Forget bullets, bombs and anthrax. The only threat to this man would be a dose of kryptonite. Even if it fell into the wrong hands, we could detect it in time to save our super man.
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International relations would in fact be relations, rather than conflicts. Superman can bring something new to the negotiation table: free flight tours of the universe. He could bargain with nations and offer a guided tour of the galaxy for heads of arguing countries, if they agree not to blow up one another. Terrorism would cease to exist. Don't believe me? Look at his resume -- it's chock full of creating peace and harmony among enemies.
People the world over admire this embodiment of perfection. With his humble beginnings as an orphan, his hard work and diligence that paid off in a good job and his commitment to community, Superman is admired. He showcases the strength of human beings and of America. His ability to overcome his disadvantages -- including his struggle to be normal in a world where he is the only one allergic to green rocks -- are undoubtedly inspiring for millions.
The man of steel could lead our country to greatness. He is the epitome of America's political desires. Come Nov. 2, call not upon the Democrats or Republicans, or anyone with any political affiliation. Call upon a true American hero, a superhero. It's up to you to vote spandex into office.
(Dedicated to the late Christopher Reeve, a true superhero.)
Kristi Knudson is a senior at Century High School. To respond to reviews in Sound &; Vision, call 252-1111, category TEEN (8336) or send e-mail to teenbeat@postbulletin.com.
