Wife refuses to reconcile
DEAR ANNIE: My wife and I met when we were in college. We are now 43. Ten years into the marriage, I became addicted to cocaine. We separated five years ago, but remain very close.
I have been clean for a year and want to pursue our relationship as husband and wife. We still love each other and enjoy one another’s company. We also find each other physically attractive, but she refuses to return to the marriage or have a sexual relationship. It’s like being married without the physical contact. I have tried, but she always pushes me away. She wants the financial support, but not the emotional involvement. I am tired of this situation. I can’t live without her, and I hate living apart. I want her back. What should I do? — Gaithersburg, Md.
DEAR GAITHERSBURG: We don’t know why your wife has no interest in a reconciliation. The best way to get to the heart of the matter is to seek professional counseling, preferably with your wife. However, if she won’t go, it means she has no interest in changing the situation. The counselor will then help you decide what your next step should be. It is unfair for you to remain in limbo. If she isn’t willing to be a complete partner, with all the trimmings, she should set you free, emotionally and legally.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to email@example.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611.