Have you ever compared yourself to another person? I’m guilty of that.
Have you ever decided, as a result of that comparison, that they were better than you or you were less than whoever you were comparing yourself to?
When we’re young, other people are in charge of our care. They’re our parents, biological or otherwise, grandparents, aunts, uncles, babysitters, and teachers.
I subscribe to the idea that they have three Jobs. 1. They are supposed to affirm us so we believe we're good enough. 2. They're supposed to meet our needs, physically and emotionally. 3. They're supposed to set boundaries for us so that we can be safe and protected in this world.
As a child, we’re reliant on other people for our care. And then something happens. We grow up. And suddenly we become responsible for our own encouraging words and thoughts. We’re responsible for meeting our own needs and assessing the risks of any given situation.
When you're young, your caregivers are the ones who cheered you on during your first little league baseball or soccer game. They were the ones who made sure you always wore pants in public because that’s what is socially acceptable. They talked you down when you thought there was a monster in your closet.
Most of us are doing a pretty good job of making sure that the people in our lives know that they matter to us. In self-care, it's not about neglecting those relationships, it's about not neglecting the relationships we have with ourselves. In our relationships with our friends, and family, and romantic partners, there are two people responsible for that bond. In your relationship with yourself, there's only one, and it's you. You matter. You’re valuable. You are enough. Believe that you are enough and treat yourself that way!
And learn more tips in this week's podcast.
About Charlie Perkins
Charlie Perkins is an author, musician, photographer, and videographer based in Rochester. The Chicago-bred Perkins attended Northwestern University concentrating on Radio, TV Broadcasting, and Interpersonal Communications. He spent 29 years at Harris Bank in Chicago and taught “Principles of Corporate Television” Columbia College in the same city. He has also spent 17 years as Unit Manager, Media Support Services for the Mayo Clinic. In a previous life, he covered the Chicago Bulls and Michael Jordan’s championship run, ’96-‘98 as a freelance photographer.