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How to find (or reconnect with) friends as an adult

It's time to make that coffee invite.

Charlie Perkins.png
Charlie Perkins.
Contributed
We are part of The Trust Project.

Many adults need help to develop new friendships or maintain existing bonds.

Relationships may take a back seat to other urgencies, such as work or caring for children or aging parents. In addition, you and your friends may have grown separately due to changes in your lives or interests. Or maybe you’ve relocated to a new community and have yet to find a way to meet people.

Developing and maintaining good friendships takes effort. However, the enjoyment and comfort of relationships can provide the investment worthwhile. Quality totals more than quantity.

While it may be good to nurture a diverse association of friends and connections, you may feel a sense of belonging and well-being by nurturing close, meaningful relationships that will promote you through thick and thin. It’s possible to develop friendships with people already in your social sphere. Think through people you’ve interrelated with—even very informally—who made a positive mark. You may develop new friends and nurture existing relationships by:

· Remaining connected with people with whom you’ve worked or taken courses

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· Reconnecting with old friends

· Reaching out to you’ve enjoyed chatting with at social gatherings

· Introducing yourself to neighbors

· Creating time to connect with family members

If anyone stands out in your mind as someone you’d like to know better, move on it. Ask mutual friends or acquaintances to disclose the person’s profile or—even better—to connect the two of you with a text, email, or in-person visit. Extend an offer to coffee or lunch.

To meet new folks who might befit your friends, you must go to places where others congregate. Don’t limit yourself to one plan for meeting people—the broader your efforts, the greater your likelihood of success. And from the words of Tennessee Williams, “Life is partly what we make it, and partly what is made by the friends we choose.”

About Charlie Perkins

Charlie Perkins is an author, musician, photographer, and videographer based in Rochester. The Chicago-bred Perkins attended Northwestern University concentrating on Radio, TV Broadcasting, and Interpersonal Communications. He spent 29 years at Harris Bank in Chicago and taught “Principles of Corporate Television” Columbia College in the same city. He has also spent 17 years as Unit Manager, Media Support Services for the Mayo Clinic. In a previous life, he covered the Chicago Bulls and Michael Jordan’s championship run, ’96-‘98 as a freelance photographer.

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